You’ve got to give her points for creativity… but not for execution.
Police in Springfield, Illinois say a woman tried to talk her way out of a shoplifting arrest last weekend — by lying about her age.
According to officers, 32-year-old Danielle Porter was stopped by store security after allegedly trying to walk out of a supermarket with nearly $300 worth of beauty products stuffed into her tote bag.
When confronted, Porter reportedly panicked — and came up with a spectacularly bad excuse.
“She told us she was 17 and ‘didn’t know it was a crime,’” said one officer. “We ran her ID. She’s 32.”
Bodycam footage (now going viral) shows Porter trying to convince police that the driver’s licence in her wallet “belonged to her twin.”
“We don’t have a twin listed on record,” one officer can be heard replying.
Social media has, of course, had a field day with the clip:
“Imagine thinking 17-year-olds get a free pass for shoplifting 💀”
“She really thought she could reverse-age her way out of a felony.”
Police say Porter was charged with petty theft and providing false information to law enforcement, but she was later released on bail.
The store manager said no one was hurt, and all items were recovered — “minus a bit of dignity.”
“Honestly, we just couldn’t believe what we were hearing,” one employee said. “It was like watching someone improvise their way into handcuffs.”
