You can’t make this stuff up.
A woman in Ohio (because of course it’s always Ohio, isn’t it?) was caught allegedly trying to shoplift from a local supermarket — but when police searched her bag, they found $3,000 in cash… and an EBT card.
Store security said the woman had “enough snacks to cater a small party” hidden in her tote bag, but apparently not enough sense to realize the math wasn’t adding up.
When asked why she’d need to steal with that kind of money on her, she reportedly told officers,
“That’s my savings — this is just for snacks.”
Naturally, the internet’s reaction was split down the middle:
Some users said it was proof “the system’s broken,” while others joked, “She’s just practicing financial literacy — cash is for rent, EBT is for vibes.”
Police say all items were returned and the woman was released pending further investigation. The store’s loss prevention officer, meanwhile, probably needs a day off after that plot twist.
As one commenter summed it up perfectly:
“3 grand in cash, an EBT card, and a dream — that’s modern America in one handbag.”
