A family in the quiet town of Birchwood Falls is going viral for all the wrong reasons after an attempted shoplifting spree went sideways in the most spectacularly embarrassing way possible.
Employees at CornerMart Grocery say they’ve seen some questionable customer behaviour—but nothing quite like the chaos caused by what they’re now calling “The Discount Bandit Family.”
Their plan? Overconfidence. Their downfall? Also overconfidence.
The incident started when an employee noticed a man stuffing bags of crisps under his hoodie while whispering, “Act natural,” to his wife, who was simultaneously slipping candles, a pineapple, and an entire frozen turkey into her oversized tote bag.
Trailing behind them was their 9-year-old son, who loudly announced to every aisle:
“Mum, Dad, I don’t think this is how coupons work.”
Shoppers stared. The family continued. Confidence: unshakable.
Their “stealth” mode was anything but stealthy
According to store worker Jess M., the family behaved like they were invisible—even though security cameras caught every step.
“They were moving like NPCs glitching in a video game,” she said.
“Dad even pretended to trip so more items would fall into his hoodie. It was… creative? I’ll give him that.”
They were caught red-handed at the exit—literally
As they attempted to walk out, the frozen turkey tumbled from the tote bag, bounced, and landed squarely on the father’s foot.
He screamed.
The sensors beeped.
The kid sighed the sigh of a child who has accepted his parents’ life choices far too early.
Security approached, and the family froze as though holding still would undo their crimes.
Spoiler: it did not.
Their excuse was absolutely legendary
When confronted, the mother reportedly said:
“We were… uh… testing your security for weaknesses.”
Security responded with the kind of deadpan silence only retail workers can master.
Locals are absolutely losing it
Videos posted online show viewers commenting things like:
- “If embarrassment was a sport, they just won gold.”
- “The kid is the only sane one in that family.”
- “Not the turkey betrayal.”
The store confirmed the family has been banned “until the heat death of the universe.”
